Cry
by stagetrinity
Summary: A oneshot about Arnold and Helga's breakup, and Helga's thoughts over a short period of time. A quick read.


I figured I'd work on another one shot, since I told someone I would. I had trouble coming up with anyone inspiration, but sometimes life gives you something to go on. Enjoy.

I don't own Arnold.

If you want a song to listen to as you read, I recommend "Incomplete," though it is an old one, it works well to set a tone.

* * *

She sighed, hugging her knees to her chest as she curled up in the old, squishy recliner in her apartment. It had not really been the choice she had wanted to make, but she couldn't think of anything else to do. It'd been four and a half years of dating, but the longer they'd dated, the more they'd realized how different they were. This didn't stop her from loving him, but it did make things a bit harder to work with. And it was important. She'd always had had big plans for her life, and she' put them on hold for him. All her friends were finishing up with a college, and here she was – a useless year taken off from school to wait for him, and then he had changed his plans again. He wanted to move back home, not away with her. How could he expect her to feel like they had a solid future when he kept doing this to her? This was the third time he'd not gone with her, the third time he'd said he would, then he didn't. Changed his mind, changed his major, which in turn had changed her future. She didn't understand why the money was more important than she had been. She knew what it was like to be broke, but staying here wasn't for her. She needed to get out. He'd gone to school and left her sitting here alone at home, feeling lame and useless. She didn't think it was fair for him to have all these experiences, yet he didn't want her to have them. He said he was protecting her, but allowing her to not have experiences was not helpful at all.

She sighed, feeling the tears start to prickle at the corners of her eyes. Every time she thought she was okay, the image of his lip quivering as she told him they were taking a break flashed through his mind. He was hours away, and she decided that they were no longer together anymore until he could figure out his future. She needed to make her own, and she couldn't do that if she kept adding him into it, then having him drop out. She had to bite down on her lip desperately as she thought about it; she hadn't thought he would actually cry. In the years they'd been together, he had never cried. She hadn't seen him cry at his grandma's funeral, yet he had cried for her. And she wanted him to call, text, something. To tell her he was still thinking of her even though the day had already passed, and they'd agreed to work on their futures alone. It had been the devil to not pick up her phone and call or text to just say she loved him; she needed him to show some sign that he was going to fight for this. That he wanted to her. He was thinking about her. Forget that she said they'd use the three weeks he had left of school to break and be alone, she wanted him back now. She needed him back. She cried until she couldn't cry anymore. She'd cried herself into a pounding headache and a nose so stuffed up she couldn't breathe.

One again, she felt the tears start to run down her cheeks. Wiping the tears away did nothing to wipe away the pain she was feeling. She thought this was what she had wanted, but was it really? Was it worth feeling all this pain, and then having no one to discuss her pain away? Phoebe was a whole state away, and though she had called her, Phoebe had only had a ten minute quick break to talk on the phone with her. Phoebe said it was okay to be selfish in this situation, and that Helga needed to think about her own future and not hold let him hold her back. She'd even spent the night before with her other best friend, whom she thought might prove to be the better match for her. But now that she was in the position to allow herself to think about it, she realized she really didn't want him. She wanted her security, the person who knew all her problems and secrets. The person who had held her why she cried, and the one who she had given all she could give to. She just wanted her Arnold.

"I'll be here when you get back," she'd said, trying to hold back her tears unsuccessfully. "It's just three weeks. If we can pick it up when you come back home, we will. If we can't, we won't. I'll be here." Her voice was cracking.

"I'll look for you," he said quietly, the tears still falling from his own eyes. One last kiss and one more embrace, and he was gone. And she'd heard nothing more.

She didn't want to be the one to crack first. She'd been strong and she hadn't backed down from her stance. But was it going to be worth it? Her hand flew out to hesitate over her phone, strangely silent and not all like their normal days of busy texting. Olga had said she didn't need to talk to him. Olga had instructed her to let him be the first one to talk. Olga assured her this would allow her to know how he really felt about her. But what was she going to do if the signs proved he didn't? Her hand fell down limply to her side. Maybe she wasn't special, and maybe this was meant to be. Maybe they weren't supposed to be together. Maybe he would never call her.

Maybe all she could do was cry.


End file.
